Babies

I don't really like babies. By babies, I mean little human "bundles of joy". Sure, they can be cute and all, but I feel the negatives far outweigh that one positive. They smell funny. They're messy. They're loud. They're fragile. They're a hassle. They're helpless. They require constant supervision. They don't really do anything.

Maybe I should cut these guys some slack. After all, they didn't choose to be a baby, they just are one. They don't know any better; that comes with growing up. Besides, I was a baby once, and I'm sure I was guilty of all of the aforementioned qualities and more.

I guess I could place my dislike on the whole concept of a baby in general. Wouldn't it be so much easier if kids popped out of the womb more fully developed? Perhaps as toddlers? 5 year olds? Adolescents? Fully grown adults? Where would the line be drawn?

A human baby is one of the most helpless creatures on Earth. This is due to the fact that humans really most on using our brains for survival, as opposed to sharp claws, thick hides, or keen senses. However, in order to fit through the birth canal, a baby's head must be as small as possible, which requires the brain to be not fully developed. Thus, a human baby cannot make full use of its greatest asset, its brain, and is therefore helpless.

So yeah. I don't have much of a maternal instinct. It'll probably be different when (if?) I have kids of my own… or rather, have a wife with whom we have kids of our own. Or I could just have her do all the work…. Now there's an idea… J/k I kid the women. I'll be sure to do my fair share.

But as for right now, I'm not a big fan of babies.